Why You Should Treat Your Partner Like a 2-Year-Old Child!

Relationships are complex, wouldn’t you agree? Things are not just black and white. They are multi-colored and layered.

If we were to chunk up and look down upon relationships, or humans for that matter because the relationships I’m referring to are made up of humans, what do we see?

Imagine that all of us are made up of thousands of bits. Good bits, not-so-good bits, and bad bits. These bits exist in all of us, all the time. They are waiting there to come out and play, be triggered, or exposed.

The 2-year-old child is also made up of all these bits. Sometimes she is so lovely and playful we want to gobble her up. Other times she is very naughty, and we just don’t know what to do with her.

It’s the same with our partners. Sometimes their bits are lovely and wonderful, during the honeymoon, while other times they make us so angry. We are constantly juggling the different bits to ensure a loving and stable relationship.
 

How We Communicate to A 2-Year-Old!

If you have children, nieces, or nephews you will know exactly what I’m talking about over the next few lines.
Little 2-year-old Johnny is sitting at the table in his cute highchair waiting for dinner. Mom comes to the table and places his food down in front of him. He looks at the food, swipes it off the table, all over the floor, and starts screaming, shouting, and crying.

You can imagine the scene, it’s not nice. One of Johnny's bad bits has come out to play.
Mom is great, she knows exactly how to handle the situation. “Oh, the poor thing,” she says, “maybe he is teething again?”. Dad chimes in and says, “he may need a nappy change?”. Then 5-year-old Jennifer shouts out, “he wants to play!”.

The whole family is coming up with reasons to justify Johnny's bad bit behavior. They are all very creative in trying to justify Johnny's bad bits coming out to play.
We all have odd and strange bits in all of us that are triggered at various times and come to the surface and show themselves. Most of us will just have to live with these odd bits and manage them as best we can when they surface.

That's why in relationships, it’s not about changing the bits of your partner, have you ever tried that? It’s more about accepting all their bits and learning to manage them. This is true for them and us.
 

How We Communicate to Our Partner!

What happens when our partners, not-so-good bits, come out to play? How do we react to their peculiar bits?
Most of us are immediately triggered, our EGO is under attack, we push back, we now have a fight on our hands.
“How dare you take that tone (bad bit) with me!”.
We start to attack the bad bits that have come out to play. This in turn triggers our bad bits. Now we have a bad bit party going on. I don’t think I need to elaborate on how it escalates and ends. Probably one in the bedroom and the other sleeping on the couch.

Start Communicating Like You’re Talking to A 2-Year-Old

Did you notice how mom and the other family members started to treat Johnny when his bad bits came out to play?

They were looking for POSITIVE REASONS TO JUSTIFY THE BAD BIT BEHAVIOR. They were not throwing fuel on the bad-bit display of behavior. It has nothing to do with mom, it's all about Johnny. Something going on in his world (internal/external) that he is acting out in front of the whole family. It’s all about him.

When our partner shows us a bad bit, it’s all about them. Stop thinking you are so important and it's all about you! Get over yourself and find out what's happening in their world for this bad bit to come out and play.

I’ve said it before, and I will say it again. There are only 2 types of communication:

• Communication of love
• Communication of a cry for help

Breakthrough

Here’s the rub.

Is it easy to respond to our partner's bad bits when they come out to play? No, at first, it's bloody hard, it’s difficult.
Was it easy to take your first few steps and speak your first few words as a child? No, at first it was hard, it was difficult.
The fact that you are reading this article, I going to assume, you graduated walking and talking 101. Congratulations! To have any level of proficiency or mastery of any skill requires practice.

Communication is the same. The more we practice the better we get.
Please dedicate some time to this one concept of managing your own and your partner's bad bit behavior. Get this skill under your belt and you can use it in all areas of your life.
“How you do anything is how you do everything”.
Zen Buddhism

Your relationships will never be the same again.

Power Move Habits E-book Report – How to stop procrastinating & work on your important goals…

Big Vision Life Coach

Clarity, Confidence & Solutions in Business & Life

Paul Simos

Executive Coach / International Health Coach

Call: (+84) 078 630 5982
Skype: paul.simos
Email: paul@bigvisionlifecoach.com
Website: www.bigvisionlifecoach.com